Sort of a lot has been happening, and yet sort of a lot hasn't been happening. I'm still looking for a day job which seems redundant as the job I've got, although volunteer, is taking over my life. So I'm kind of on the fence about whether I like it or not. Although after a little less than a month of rehearsals things are finally settling down in terms of working-relationships. I could do with less being yelled at, and less anxiety all around which is my fault anyway.
But I haven't explained that the people I am working with are simply brilliant, and in the end this experience is going to set me up for the rest of my life in terms of the theatre scene here in little ol' Vancouver. Hopefully?

Last night I found out that my cousin's grandfather died of complications to a broken hip. And I thought the old bugger was going to live forever, or nearly so. This brings back all of my childhood memories of grief, which thankfully are few. My paternal grandfather died of lung cancer when I was 12, and my maternal grandfather died when I was 7, of a stroke I think? If you were also wondering, I never knew either of my grandmothers they died while my parents were young and I am very thankful to still have both of them with me today. Though truth be told my father is getting on, and my mum is no spring chicken either. I saw a pamphlet the other day advertising making provisions for the debilitation or death of the household caregiver and provider, which my dad says he is now considering making a living will. This is all something I don't like to think about.

My exposure to death and grief has not been overly much. I have actually never been to a funeral in my life, within all nearly 25 of my years. My sister, though, went to one of her best friends' father's funeral a number of years ago.

I was almost hoping to visit my family in Toronto, at least I would see them again even if we were reunited in grief. I was also hoping that I would go to my first funeral. This stage of my life is about gathering experiences, and I am slightly disappointed and slightly relieved not to be finally adding this one to my collection.

The death of a family member is different than the death of a friend. Over the years I have unfortunately known a handful of young people who are no longer with us. Yet I still feel that same sense of numbness; I have no idea how to react. Here is the one time that my emotional senses have failed me.